Here's looking at you.

In the course of my lifetime, I've unofficially tried every diet under the sun; the coffee only diet, a favorite of mine, the high protein diet, the grapefruit diet, the fresh fruit diet, and the starvation absolutely no food diet. I've unofficially done weight watchers, and seriously thought about Jenny Craig. Yeah, I lose weight but no sooner is it off and it's right back on. It's gotten so bad that I don't need to go out and buy new clothes when fashions change. I have three sets of clothes: fat, halfway there, and then my size 8. Where there is one in my closet and two stored in my attic. Right now, I'm in my fat clothes.... thinking about getting out the halfway there. And for the first time in eight monthes, I'm smiling.

After a soul searching coffee session, BigMama sent me an email invite to join sparkpeople.com; an absolutely free online fitness tracking system. It offers exercise suggestions, motivational essays to read, complete with a million other subscribers and their stories, and a nutritional tracking program. I took one look and was hooked.

Everyday I log exactly what I've eaten. The biggest surprise is what I call hidden calories. Foods that I thought were okay to eat, (like california rolls). Where in one meal, I've consumed enough calories for 6 people to survive a week. So, it's not really a diet. I know my caloric, veggie, water, and exercise goals and I check that I am keeping these goals. It's a live it. I love it.

I can live this way. Making smarter food choices. And by making the same or similar choices each day, I've learned that having a yogurt and watermelon for breakfast is a wonderful choice. Damn the sugar covered cereals, or bagels mounded with cream cheese and lox. It's been a month and I don't even want these foods anymore.

Seriously, my name is ptcakes and I'm a carbo-holic. So, here's looking at you. A rediscovering me, with a lifestyle that will soon fit into my jeans. Thanks, BigMama!