Sandbox Fighting

It has always amazed me how heated sandbox fighting can be.

"Give it back!"

"You put it down. It's mine now."

"I had sand in my eye."

"No, I saw you. You were reaching for the dump truck."

Maybe, some fights have to be. But others? Do we need to wage a holy war everytime someone reaches for our shovel?

I say no.

When I was in high school, I lived 6 miles from the school and rode the bus. It wasn't like today where I drive my children the 4 blocks to school when the weather is bad or they miss their bus. My mom didn't drive. So it was bus, walk or bike.

There were two populations of kids at our stop: the quiet ones and the bullies. You could tell them apart as the quiet ones carried books and the bullies carried knives. Back then there was very little law enforcement over weapons, but I'm glad to say the weapons were more for show. Anyway, when the bus pulled up the bullies bullied their way onto the bus. Pushing the shoving to be first so they could have the seats at the back. The quiet ones accommodated and learned, if I don't want to get shoved around, we'll just let the bullies on first. The quiet ones would end up standing for the bus ride across town. Bumping and falling, but who cares -- it's a 15 minute bus ride.

But the bullies noticed they weren't having to fight for their seats. They noticed the quiet ones hanging back as the bus pulled to a stop. They noticed they got on first but were the LAST off the bus. Something had to be done.

The next day, the bullies were at it again. When the bus pulled up, the bullies got behind the quiet kids and pushed them into seats, so that they could stand, and fall, and be the first off the bus.

Soon after, I started riding my bike to school. I was one to the first kids in my school to carry a backpack. I had to -- no other way to get my books there. And for this I was voted: Class Radical for the Class of 1978.

So, when you're in that sandbox and someone takes your shovel -- look to the slide, the swing set, the glider. Or chose to pick up a bucket, a stick.... The other possibilities are endless.

Bullies tire. Their attention span shorten. Don't worry, you'll get your shovel back. And when you do, you'll have to ask yourself, "Is this what I really want?"