Saturday, April 26, 2014
I would be perfect if I were....
And then I was warned that I would be perfect if I didn't work so hard at my goals. Stop pressing towards graduation. For it would show everyone just how smart I really am.
Years later I am told I would be perfect if I were different. You know, not who I am. Hard to pinpoint that advice, but we can say unwanted, unloved and unlovable.
And recently I was advised that I would be perfect if I would be (excuse the language) more of an ass kisser. You know, placating. Not that I'm not already dedicated, hardworking, generous, helpful, punctual, exacting with figures and money, relentless with computer issues, warm with a very clear sense of customer service.
What have I learned at 53 years old? I've been brutally hurt in the past. And unfounded words burn in old wounds. I've carried soul breaking emotional baggage for years now. And the best advice I can internalize is that I will be perfect when I leave that baggage behind.
For really, I am perfect just as I am.