High Anxiety

High Anxiety... Isn't there a song or something with Mel Brooks singing those few words?

Right now, those two words describe my life. But after this weekend, all should be better.

Isn't that always the way? After this, after that; after I take this test. After I get through these errands and then somehow get dinner on the table, all before running two children in two different directions, while finishing the other's homework. The mantra in the back of my head alternates between, "I'm tired, God," and "I'm tired and I wanna go to bed."

The other day, I confessed to a friend, that I was looking for a real job. With all my stay at home time, I am too busy. You would think it would be the opposite. With long afternoons lounging on the couch, bonbons at the wrist, watching soaps. My life is not that case study. Instead I am crazy busy with volunteer opportunities at the school and church, and I confess -- still painting the garage. All the while, seeing the importance of exercise in my life.

To make room, timewise, I was going to quit banjo. But lately, it is the only activity that offers me a calm port. Truthfully, I have been so busy, I probably picked the darn instrument up twice in three weeks... not good. But over that past couple of days, after tuning it (read: miracle here) I have been seeking out its solace. I love the comfort of the banjo. It takes me to a restful place. If only for 10 minutes.

Still this weekend lays before me. But I am fortifying myself with maps to Franklin Park and then more maps into the bowels of the big city Boston. I will survive and I will more than likely enjoy myself. In the meantime, I'll bake for the Energy Conservation talk the parish is having, take more head shots for the fifth grade play, get the latest batch of photos to the Youth Ministry Group, finish writing the blurb for the bulletin, and look for a real job to occupy my time.