Note from the Neighbor

Dear Neighbor,

You may think I'm a free loader, with an ever expanding bum, but I'm not. It's my genetics to be a bit wide in the hips. From what I've seen... I'm sure you can relate. And don't mistake all my hustling for having an angle. I'm working at being totally self sufficient and living completely off the land. (Next year, I have plans to install a PV solar system.) But to make ends meet, I have a job. I'm a landscraper. Enclosed is my card. Hire me. I'll do your lawn. Tirelessly working nights and day, mowing, clearing clover, trimming gardens back, especially beans... providing more than the usual two seasonal clean up.

Oh I've heard you complaining to the other neighbors. Don't deny it. Just because I moved into the 'hood without the usual truck, and caravan of family and friends bearing up under boxes and furniture. I'll have you know this place, this hovel or hole, as you call it, is my home. And I have worked tooth and nail to get it just right. Scratching and clawing threw the litter and debris left by the previous tenants. This place was just filthy when I moved in. Instead of tossing out innuendo, come over for the tour.

In addition to the prominent main entrance and foyer, I now have an entry through the rose garden and a bulkhead with root and wine cellar under the shed. My improvements are so extensive that I've been able to tap into geothermal for heating and cooling. It really is quite comfortable. You won't catch me wearing a silly hat around the house.

And yes, it did get a bit hectic this summer when my children were home, but they've moved out now... unlike yours. Who, continue to chuck rocks through my front door, and climb on my roof. Nice kids, you doing such a great job raising them.

Sincerely,

Marmota monax Sciuridae