Saturday, October 24, 2009

A Question

Every year we have a party around this time. Oh how I wish it were an adult party, for my friends, but it's for the kids and they invite 6 of their friends. Fourteen -- for the house plus the parents that stay, and we are almost to the sardine state.

And each year as classroom buddies ebb and flow, the invite list changes. This year there is a new girl. I called the house. I invited the girl and the mom replied, "Do you know she is a twin?"

I answered back, "Yes, I had heard that." Her twin is not in any classes with my child.

Silence.

Finally I add, "Please get back to me if your daughter can make it so we can make sure to have a pumpkin for her to carve and enough mini pumpkins for the pumpkin hunt."

Weeks pass, then this week I hear through the grape vine that they need our phone number, so I call. "Can your daughter come?"

"Yes she can. I'll drop her off before I take my other daughter back to college."

"Oh, I didn't know you had an older daughter."

"Yes, I have three; the twins and one in college."

She then has the whatever to ask, "Is the whole classroom invited?"

"No, our house is not that big, and each of my girls invite six friends."

Okay so I have a case of the guilts. Do I squeeze in one more? Really when chaos rules, what is one more...

But on the other hand, if one of my close in age daughters gets invited to a party I don't try to weasel an invite for the other. And there have been tears about who gets invited and who doesn't. "She's been to more parties than I have this year. Why can't I go too."

What I want to say is, "Sorry you had twins but... what..." Those of you who really don't know me and perhaps think I am always oh so nice and laid back, not quite. I don't like being bullied, especially when pumpkin carving is involved.

4 comments:

Laura Matthews said...

stick to your guns.

Kris said...

Yeah... stick to your guns. When I was a kids and there were only 3 of us kids ( we eventually became 6) my mom had a rule that if we weren't all invited we didn't go. We eventually stopped getting invited to things. Her rule did relax after a while but the damage was already done.

This mother of twins should encourage them to do things on their own and perhaps she could take the opportunity to do something special with just one of them while the other attends your party. Just because they are twins doesn't mean they aren't individual people.

PtCakes said...

Thanks ladies. If I knew the mom's email I'd send her the link.

Tammy H. said...

With three boys a year apart, I can understand your frustration. I have never assumed or pushed to have all of the boys go to a party, even if they are friends with the child having the party. Sometimes an invitation was extended to the other boys and sometimes it wasn't depending upon the situation. The boys learned that sometimes, they had to do something else when their brother had a party to attend. Everyone survived. ;)