Friday, October 20, 2006

Sunday Scribblings - GOOD

I've never been one who worried about being good.

I'm a below the radar, middle child. My path through life was cut by keeping my head low, mouth shut, and not making any waves. Without even trying, I was the good daughter. For the better part of 34 years I used this approach at home, in school, work and marriage. And I thought it was working, until the day I decided to having a differing opinion.

That day I stood up for myself.
I said, "No."
I said, "I can't handle that right now."

Quickly, life became a war of the wills. I was accused of being a lair and breaker of promises. I was devastated. The pressure mounted. With my head down, I saw only one way out. I couldn't believe my life would end this way.

As I was veering towards that bridge abutment, I picked up my head and saw that a life can have many paths. All I had to do was stop, and take another. And I did.

I don't keep my head down anymore. My mouth is wide open, and at times I make really big waves. I'm not good. But I'm happy.

9 comments:

my backyard said...

How old were you when you decided to stand up for yourself?

PtCakes said...

34

my backyard said...

Better late than never :)

Might be a good topic to explore in an essay. But you've got so many good topics!

FatCharlatan said...

oooh. This is GOOD. And I agree with MBY--great essay topic. LOVE the last two lines.

yak attack said...

I am a middle child too, though always questioned, always took the different path, never worried about being good. I can relate to the bridge abutment decision, as well. It is nice that we have options in this world...

Chelle Y. said...

You know, I have lived my life being "good" too, caring about what people thought, not trying to offend them.

Recently, my husband left me for someone else. We had our problems, but being "good" and not standing up myself, ruined everything (or so I thought).

I am ready, although scared, for this new life of mine. I still want to be "good" in the sense of doing right, but I want to be strong. I want to live.

Good post!

Kay said...

I'm glad you made your stand.

Nicely done.

twilightspider said...

Good for you, and good for your writing. This is so succinct yet descriptive, I hope that you keep your mouth open, you obviously have some wonderful things to say.

r's musings said...

I definitely relate to your post! When I started saying no, in my early thirties, my husband told me I wasn't the woman he married anymore. I replied I never was the woman he thought he married. The adjustment took awhile, but if I hadn't found my voice, we wouldn't have such a wonderful partnership now, in our early forties.
Glad you picked your head up, took another path, and now you're happy! "Good" for you!